Always Searching

Always Searching has seemed to be a theme in my life. For many years I never knew what that was. All my life I have always had a strong desire to help people. The majority of my years have been spent people pleasing though and I never even realized it until it started to break me. Have you ever felt unwanted? I have. Not good enough, I have. Seems to have been a trend for me.

The feeling of yet my third marriage breaking, that searching feeling started to come back to me. What in the hell was wrong with me? I work my ass off, do all the wifey stuff and try to be good to everyone. If it could have happened I bet I thought it, that’s for sure. I felt that feeling coming a mile away. I was breaking yet again. I don’t really have close friends so I tend to bottle things up some. After some screaming and crying out to God, I figured it out.

It was him. He was what I searched for all my life that I had not once put him first in everything and I mean everything that I did. Always chasing the dollar, not making time for the things that meant the most to me. When I put him at the top he opened my eyes to many things and this peace. This unexplainable peace over came me and nothing mattered but him and what he wanted my life to look like. The concern I had of other peopled opinions didn’t matter to me anymore. He had seen my tears one too many times.

The personal relationship that you have with God can dictate your life good or bad it’s a choice that one makes for themselves. The peace, love, and light that I carry now is a gift from him to me. And it’s yours too, so if you haven’t, let go and let God.

1 John 1:9 Stay Blessed y’all ❤️🕊️

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